I am not usually a quote person. I typically find them overly romanticized.

I do however love this one. Couldn't find the Author.

"I screamed at God for all the starving children, and then I realized that all of the starving children were God screaming at me."

I found this after pondering God. Not theology. Not Jesus.




Everything Good?


The order of nature?

Black matter?

Tangible entity?

Absolutely Everything?

This is by far my favorite mystery.


The French Milky Way

It was a still and collected night the first time
I saw the Milky Way Galaxy.
With many Germans, an American and a Polish,
we stood in the French countryside sipping wine
that very well could have come from these hills.

“Look” said Adam. I did and I saw
the faint mist.
A long strip, the opening of escape from our galaxy.
I thought,
“Oh My God, hes lost his marbles.”

“Look” said a German. I did and I saw
a giant crack in the sky with a green hue.
Like poison lips about to kiss.
I thought,
“Oh my God, a mouth that size doesn’t caress, it consumes.”

“Look” said a pointing finger. I did and I saw
a forgotten road.
Still with ruts from wagons and children.
I thought,
“Oh my God, this road can still be used!”

“Look” said creation. I did and I saw
a cut in its flesh.
Stars scattered like specks of blood from the wound.
I thought,
“Oh my God, let me out.”


To be honest though, I don't quite understand why this waterboarding thing is getting so much attention. So we can kill but not torture? Whats the difference? After all, when we kill, we torture the innocent . . . the family of those we kill. Lets just stop all of it.

Konza Prairie Rain

First one here.

-Konza Prairie Rain-

In the Kansas spring, clouds
conspire and pour their life
out on the Konza Prairie:

Covenants are formed where
light and water meet; arcs
in color--
Sweet scent of damp earth
rises, past dead and
dying creatures, Alive.
Dirt becomes mud, giving
sight to a world, reconciled.

Mice, deer, bugs
Bluestem, Indian, Switch
You. Me.
Dying embers from
recent fire-- The rain falls
on all creation--
Clouds return white.

The last drops
bend the tall grass

Father. Son. Holy Ghost.

He holds without hands and speaks without sounds

Today I took the strengths finder test at Radinas. I was warned repeatedly that the code is good for only ONE time. This, coupled with with the fact that I only got 20 seconds to answer each question had me a little nervous in doing it in such a busy, public place.

So imagine the curses I thought in hindsight after the storm outside began to quickly and dramatically send its water through the poorly sealed crack at the top of the window I was by.

All over me.

All over my computer.

All over my cookie.

Yeah, I think a good 10 questions timed out.

When I got my results, "Adaptability" was number 3. I read the description in the book, and I almost completely disagree. But in light of the fiasco, i couldn't agree more.

Good night and good luck.


We stand completely still.


Oh God, oh God.

According to the news, satan always wins.

Jesus why don't you just come back now? What's the hold up?

Where are you God?

In me?


You did disappoint me, but not completely . . .

Come now David where's Uriah gone?
stranded on the battlefield,
the troops withdrawn
Come now David, where's Uriah gone?
his time came to go

Come now David, where's Bathsheba gone?
and where've your binoculars and rooftop gone?
the unexpected baby from the bad night gone?
their time came to go

come now david, where's everybody goin'?
come now david, where's everybody goin'?
come now david, where's everybody goin'?
come now david, where's everybody goin'?



For all you girls

So here it is girls, the question that has been burning in my mind for some time now . . .

Whats with the correlation between age and hair length?

In my observation, the older a girl gets, the shorter her hair gets. This reaches its climax when a woman is in her mid 40's and her hair is cut down (But styled) to the lengh of the average Males.

Now hear me out. I absolutely think that some girls look great with short hair. I think of my friend Liz whose hair I like just as much short as I do long.

This is primarily directed at, even though I know I probably don't have many reading this, middle aged-women.

Why oh why does the hair become SO short?

I've wondered this for so long, but finally knew I HAD to write about it as I sat in church on Easter Sunday, realizing that about 95% of the women over 40 had hair my length.

Now, this is not directed toward the elderly woman who has thinning hair, that I understand.

But why girls???? Why is this where everyone ends up by middle age? Is the fact that its "easier" really the reason?

I'm going to make this statement on behalf of every guy I've discussed this with:

In general, guys like girls hair longer. See how I worded that? Not that guys like girls with longer hair, but guys like any girls hair longer.

Once again, this is NOT to say that girls can't look good with short hair.

But personally, I think its beautiful when I meet a woman in her 60's that has long, grey hair.

So why girls? Must the hair be Chopped? What did it ever do to you? Give me reasons to soothe this burning question.


Pt. 2 God is in a computer chip

***For all you google readers, I accidently published the last one before I was done.***

As a major part of my life, and especially as of recent, Doubt is something I've thought a lot about. For what it's worth, here is the role it plays in my life. This is what doubt is to me, not necessarily everyone, and it speaks in regards to my relationship with God.

When my preconceived idea of God is expanded so much beyond what I've contrived, Doubt is what feels in the Gaps.

Now I think we can all agree that God is much bigger than we think.

But I think their is specific moments in life where its far more than just "Knowing" this truth, but actually (for lack of better words) feeling it in our spirit. It's as if our spiritual eyes are opened, not to the entirety of God, but to the entirety that we're wrong about God.

And this expansion of awareness is not a confirmation of what we thought we knew, but in this light, we not only see how little we know, but we see the vast amount we don't know about God and it causes us to question what little we thought we did know about God.

And Doubt Pours In. Doubt becomes a sealant between all things.

When you ask an objective question, an answer will only give you more objective questions and thus begins a spiderweb. In regards to truth Einstein wrote,

"At any given moment out of all conceivable constructions, a single one has always proved itself absolutely superior to the rest."

At any given moment.

Could objective truth be a function of time? Could the truth I hold just be temporarily truer than anything else I happen to know at the time?

The more you ask, the further you get from the truth.

The more you look, the more you see and the more questions you have.

When you try to objectively know God, the bigger he becomes and the less you know him.

Because our relationship with God is not objective.

I believe in absolute truth, but I think the problem I have is wanting to know absolute truth.

So what happens is we try to know absolute truth for what it is, but we only get more questions which takes us further from the truth. Then when we have created a sprawling void between us and this truth, the only thing that can fill it is doubt.

God wants us to believe, not to know.

We're to have Faith. We're to believe. Whenever I have tried to replace faith with knowledge, I have been humbled.

I'm by NO means saying that we shouldn't seek God or to learn or to ask questions or anything like that.

I just don't believe we should approach God in an objective way, as if he is a text book to learn.

Unfortunately, that is what I do, and then I almost die with doubt and then I write long blog posts. So don't do that. Any of it.

Just have faith, because faith is easy, right? :-)



This is not part 2, because the stone is still being chiseled.

Is God speaking.
Why not be polite and
Listen to



Pt. 1: You be the hammer and I'll be the chisel . . and I'll also be the stone

I spent 2.5 hours writing this post from several different ways, but ended up deleting all of them. I couldn't figure out how to do it without sounding whiny or without someone putting me on suidcide watch. And that would just be devestating to my image.

Just read this.

I feel broken, critical, depressed and doubtful most of the time. But I think thats ok. Blessed are the poor in spirit, right?


The Birth of Flight


As I join a mostly empty flight, I abandon my assigned seat for one five rows up by the window. The man next to me, across 4 empty spots and an aisle, sits against the opposite window. A tube sneaks from an overhead bin and follows, taped, the roof of the plane, down to a mask attached to his face. Aged, tired, sick; he inhales from it what I inhale naturally. He wheezes as I notice that we sit, exactly mirrored. Our bodies at the same angle. Legs crossed. Pillow propped. Eyes connecting.

He wheezes again. I think to myself: this poor man cannot see how much we have in common.


Oh my God, this birth
has undone me. The labor has left
me with empty hands and
I’ve also gone blind.
I sit here and feel that this was a
miscarriage; my pain is more real
than the God I try to follow.
but, I hope –
that my empty hands can slowly
roll open from these fists
and bear what was born-