10:24am Alltel

I don't know if people enjoy reading these, but at least I will one day when I look back through old blogs.

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So, in the first 24 minutes of work, me and my manager Katie ran into 2 characters right off the bat.

Customer 1: My phone works, but my screen went out.

I take the phone, take out the battery, put it back in and the screen comes on. I then begin to pull up his account to find out his options for a phone that doesn't work properly.

Customer: How did you get the screen back on?

Me: I just took out the battery and put it back in.

Customer (angrily AT me): I DID THAT 3 TIMES ALREADY AND IT DOESN'T FIX IT, IT JUST GOES BACK OUT!

Me: Whoa whoa, all I did was get the screen to come back on, I didn't say it was permanently fixed.

The customer then begins staring at me with a half-grin, which I come to find out afterwards that he'll be doing most of the time.

Me: Ok, your options are to upgrade the phone with a contract or do an insurance claim which is $50.

Customer continues staring at me with the half-grin

Me (Ackwardly): So . . .

Customer still continues to stare

Me (feeling uncomfortable): . . . What did you want to do?

Customer: No.

Me: No?

Customer: I don't want to do either of those. What other options are there?

At this point, there are no other good options, so I begin reccomending 3 other rediculous options just to get him to quit staring. However, this only increased the staring.

Customer: If I do an insurance claim, I need it by Thursday, 8:00am sharp.

Me: Well, they send it through the mail and there is no way it will get here by Thurs . . .

Customer (Interrupting me): But I NEED it by Thursday.

Me: Well thats not going to work then.

Customer: Maybe I'll just go visit my buddies at US Cellular.

Immediately back to creepy stare mode.

Me: Ok.

Customer: Yeah, I'll see what THEY can do for me.

Me: Ok, but if you switch service now, you'll have a $200 cancellation fee because you're still under contract.

Customer (Angry again): So I'm screwed with all my options with Alltel.

Me: No, you're the one that is choosing the options that will screw you, you don't want to do the options that are best. The options you want to do (Cancelling service while under contract) are screwing Alltel, so they have a fee for that. I've offered you what options are best, I can't help it if you don't want to do them and choose ones that are a lot worse, thats your choice.

Customer stares at me for probably about 30 seconds without saying a word.

Customer: Why can't you help me?

Me (Seeing this is going to go in circles): You won't let me.

Stare Mode.

Customer: You know, I come to local dealers like y'all because I like to.

Me: (Not sure what to say) Thanks?

Customer: But you're not helping me.

Me: Well I am, but I'm just not sure what you want me to do beyond the 5 options I gave you. I'm not going to just give you a phone for free because you broke yours, which is what you seem to want me to do.

Stare Mode.

Customer: Ok, well I'll see what the other store can do for me (leaves)

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This next lady came in about 2 minutes after the above guy. She pulled up in a brand new red Cadillac with a liscence plate that said "Pamperd". She got out of the car and had a giant fur coat on, high heels, and long curly blonde hair. A walking cliche. She acted exactly like you're probably picturing her. My manager Katie got the luxury of helping her.

Pamperd: Uh, like my bluetooth isn't connecting to me phone. I've tried it several times, and like, it just won't work.

Katie takes it and connects it in about 30 seconds.

Pamperd: Wow, how did you do that!?!

Katie explains and shows the process.

Pamperd: But thats what I did.

Katie: Well, I don't know what to tell ya.

Pamperd: But I did what you just said, how did YOU do it?

Katie: Huh? I did it how I just showed you.

Pamperd: But I did that.

Katie: Well, thats How i did it.

Pamperd: Huh, well hey, it like, won't work in my car either, would you like come do it out th . . . Oh nevermind, tee hee.

Katie: I'm not allowed in your car as an employee.

Pamperd: Well thats ok! You could just stand outside it (Mind you, I just looked at the weather, and with a 32mph wind, its 12 degrees right now).

Katie: Uh no, I'm not gonna do that.

Pamperd: Oh please? It would be helpful!

Katie: No, I just showed you how to do it, it works the same way.

Pamperd: But it like works for you, it doesn't, like, work for me.

Katie: No.

Pamperd: Ok, tee hee.

Pamperd then goes out to her car and proceeds to sit in it for about 20 minutes. We can only assume that she never figured it out.

At this point, we had only been opened 24 minutes. Boy I hope this continues for the rest of the day, it is by far the most entertaining thing to have happen at work.