Insert Sad Indian

So I've searched high and low and have typed in every synonym and variation of "Sad Indian Happy Thanksgiving" into google image search and have come up short.

Two days before purchasing my new computer, my last computer, a faithful E-machine, decided it just couldn't hang on long enough to see me strip it of its internal memory guts and transplant those guts in the new computer I was about to buy. It self destructed, burying itself and all my files and folders in a state of premature, permanent hibernation.

It wasn't that faithful after all.

On it was a very important file. This file contained a picture of a very sad looking Indain Chief, with "Happy Thanksgiving" at the bottom.

This picture was clearly to strike guilt in the fact that we're basically celebrating a meal that we historically ate and then shortly after, slaughtered the Native Americans in what was literally a Genocide and took their land.

And to an extent, we should feel guilty. However, its not typically viewed in the way I just presented it. And honestly, my original plans to fast on thanksgiving as a protest of sorts, was quickly abandoned for the sake of not having to explain to all my family in Colorado as to what I was doing.

Also, Green Bean casserole.

So I'm forgetting to an extent also.

However, I have so many more thoughts than I am currently sharing. And honestly, I don't really seek to make people feel guilty. It's more about stirring up a memory from my time on the reservation and briging awareness to the state of Native Americans from the position of where they once were.

I'm sure in a future post I will share much more about the injustice of the Native Americans and about how our country was founded on their graves.

But thats for another time. Until then.

Insert picture of a sad Indian Chief saying wishing you a "Happy Thanksgiving".


Today I lived, mainly free.

So today, I had two main highlights and they both revolve around my friend Brad, age 9. Brad is the boy in the family at Colonial Gardens that our Life Group has really gotten to know and are still praying for big things to happen!

So anyway, Brad. John Schwartzs Life Group plays football with a bunch of kids around 10 years old as an outreach opportunity and me and Paul Bruss decided to take Brad. While he may be a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, this by no means translates to football skills. Two particular things were hilarious.

1. After a play, Brad goes limping off to the side lines, clearly hurt. When asking if hes coming back in to play, he says "no". I then naturally ask him if hes ok, "Did you get hurt"? "No" he Replied, "Something big is coming".

"Something Big is coming"?

"Yeah, you know that people say you can hear a heard of elephants coming from a long way away? Yeah, I hear a noise from a long way away."

"Brad, I don't think any elephants are around here."

"No, not an elephant, but something BIG"

"Like What?"

"Like, I dunno, thats why I'm going to stay over here while you all play and watch for it."

(Me smiling at the most elaborate injury cover-up I have ever heard) "Ok, well let me know if you see anything!"

After multiple plays of handing the ball off to Brad, and him running 2-7 yards BACKWARDS only to be tackled for a loss despite our best efforts to tell him to stop, it was clear a new plan was needed if Brad was to get the ball. My Idea: to hand him the ball and then pick him up and run forward. See, the boys get tackled, but the adults are two hand touch. So this idea was genius if I say so myself; Since Brad has the ball, he must be tackled, but he has me as protection.

Hike, the ball is handed to him. I run, grab him and run for about 5 yards as the boys try to tackle me. Right around 8 yards, Brad drops the ball and they recover.


Well, thats that.

I have this rather peculiar friend who expresses her prophetic gifting in a way that is strange, random, and sometimes insulting.

But always in love.

Now God speaks to me too.

Images. Words. Dreams. Impressions.

But me and my friend are far different.

In fact, shes far different than any "Prophetically" gifted person I've met.

So tonight, as she demonstrated this again, I was perplexed.

I said in a prayer, "God, are you really speaking to her? If so, have her come tell me the answer."

Then, I look up and shes marching my way as the guitar is strummed and people sing.

She stoops down and looks at me and says,

"I don't know what you're asking God right now, but the answer is yes."


Pardons, Security alarms and crippled old ladies.

Today I saw and heard a lot.

Like this.

Which reminded me of this:

Then I saw on CNN, that there is a 2,300 person list of people that are hoping President Bush will Pardon them in the coming months. And I thought, "Who made him God?". And then I remembered.

Then I saw on CNN that this kid shot his Dad and his friend and that people were pissed because his lawyer wasn't present during the questioning, But the kid confessed to it, but people didn't believe him because he was a kid. Either way, two people were shot to death and there wasn't a lawyer present for that either, so I'm not quite sure I actually believe it.

Then I saw, during a commercial between all the super positive and uplifting CNN stories, that if I call today, I can get a home security system with two key pads for $99 installed. They even showed an actual scene involving a girl and stereotypically dressed burglar and how the security system saved her life, and I dunno, probably her Big Screen TV also. Then I wondered, if Jesus hadn't been homeless how many keypads would he have had in his house? What I DO know, is that when I get to heaven and have to enter the pass code on the security alarm key pad, that if I have to guess, I won't guess 666 because that is bad and has something to do with Obama and the end of the world.

Then I saw this and wondered if people in this discussion have heard of Ron Paul. He seems to exhibit about everything anyone is arguing for. But what do I know, I didn't vote.

Then I saw this lady at work today. She was crippled and old, and as she wobbled into the door on a walker, I whispered a prayer to God, asking that he would help me truly love her and give me a glimpse of her life. As I helped her with her "Smart Phone" that truly was way smarter than her, I asked her about the picture of the family on the background. Then I watched as she bloomed. For the next 2 hours, we discussed her family and her life as I slowly worked for a solution on her phone. At one point, at the sake of sounding like a complete tool, I felt tears in my eyes for no reason, just extreme affection. Her husband and son were both heavily involved in the military, and while I strongly oppose military service, I found that I truly did care about them and her and none of my personal theologies or opinions factored in at all to our conversation. I thought; this is what unity looks like, unity is NOT agreeing on everything, its loving people through the power of the ONLY thing we need unity in, Jesus. Anyway, it was a blessed conversation, and it ended with her buying a different phone and giving me her $550, top of the line, all touch screen phone. I refused it, but she refused that. So I aquired quite the asset for my bosses and they loved me because of it, but I didn't love her because of it. While I never expect or desire something like this, or anything similiar, to be a reward for Love, I DO want to Love people in a way that will make them want to give me a $550 cell phone.

So God, give me that and nothing else.


I'm sorry, but this animal is awesome

The Tibetan Fox. This thing rules.

Last night at Praise of the Peoples, I was telling Laura Byrne about this, when I then blurted out, "It even looks Asian" while taking my hands and pulling back the corners of my eyes. Then I realized where I was, the irony, and wondered how many people I had just offended.


Did anyone else see the patchwork rain clouds today?

My God, The Clouds

Today the rain clouds form
in splotches across the sky
as if tears wept but unwilling
to meet the ground. So they
form, suspended above
people like me, who claim
God is speaking.

About Life. Maybe just mine.

I think, maybe things
don’t crumble—
they just fall into place.
Maybe I’ve built my life
like a tower, like Babel
when I should be a road
to Jericho.

I feel my language
is confused as I look to
The sky for communication.

Oh God, Oh God
I don’t know.
And I’m in danger.
The clouds seem to be talking.
They seem to be crossing the sky
and joining together in
some unholy upheaval--
to leave rubble in their wake--


The Konza Is on Fire

-Konza Prairie Fire-

Tucked in the hills of Manhattan
beyond paved roads and light pollution
Kansas is ripped open
and a prairie is delivered.
The land contracts and the sky dilates
as the Konza grass sways to
the beckon of a gentle breeze.

Annual fires dance
upon these hills, for it has been said:
“Without fire this would be a forest”
(True, you can lose direction in the woods,
but tall grass hides more than just your feet)
So we pay with
smoke and aborted baby

But I am no dousing rain;
They say it needs done and
I believe it. It’s just-- with
my feet here in the dirt
I can’t help but feel like a
newborn tree; delivered
from last years fire, not wanting
to be ash again.


Cha Cha Skittles!

So, I'm now an employee of Cha Cha. So far I have made $20.10. Supposedly I can make up to $12 and hour. It's great though, I can answer questions in between writing blogs like this, surfing the net, watching TV, etc. The plan is to try to earn enough money to go to Holden Village over Spring Break. Anyone else want to do Cha Cha or go to Holden Village? Well Lemme know. $20.40 now.

I thought I would now leave you with this. I have been a sucker for humorous commercials lately, and this one really got me. Enjoy

via videosift.com


Letting it speak for itself


A Different Kind Of Battle

Written last year. True Story.

A Different Kind Of Battle

I remember the war.
Plastic, expressionless soldiers.
Full fledged camouflage.
All left jobs as billboard models for a greater calling.
Screws for joints.

I hated the phrase “All is fair in . . . something . . . and war.”
My enemies mom just bought him jet-pack soldiers
and jeeps for the grounded.
I can’t even begin to guess how many weeks of allowance
it took me to build my army.

By Sixteen hundred hours, an hour after school,
my foe, my best friend, had reduced my fight to one.
I knew it was time.

Invincible G.I. Joe.

Screams of protest sprang from the other camp.
It reminded me of a phrase I loved.
“All is fair in my house and war.”


Color Me Red

Yes, this title isn't quite the random title I promised in my first post.

Color me red.

God Humbled me tonight.

I have made no bones about my stance as a non-voter. I have, and will, make no bones about being un-patriotic. The truth is, if it was up to me, I would move from this country and have absolutely nothing to do with it.

That is true, I would move and shake the dust of my feet.

However, because I feel this way, is the very reason God has called me here. I refuse to be someone who just complains, or just packs up and leaves. I want to see Gods Kingdom here so badly. Not through the attempt of conversion of a Godless institution, but through his people, his church. Not through someone I (could) elect, but through me and my community.

Tonight, me and some of my community went to go and bring Gods Kingdom into the lives of a Grandma, Father and his three kids, lives. We met this family, when a couple of sundays ago, we knocked on doors to ask people if we could pray for them. Upon arriving at their door, they invited us in and we spent the next hour and a half inside their home. After leaving, no doubt, these were people of peace. God had sent us to that door for a reason. Through this family, our prayer was that we could establish the Kingdom of God, not only in their lives, but in their neighborhood.

So tonight, we went back to build on that relationship. To bring Gods love into their lives. To establish the foundation of Gods Kingdom in Colonial Gardens.

Now understand, over the past year, I have poured hundreds, if not thousands of hours into reading political articles, watching CNN, learning all about the candidates, watching debates, discussing, etc. Why all of this if I refuse to vote?

Because I find it horribly interesting.

So tonight, was like the superbowl - er, maybe olympics since it happens every four years- for me. I have been looking forward to this night for the last year. I had websites bookmarked, the "Channel Return" button set to toggle between stations covering the election, bought wine -- I was ready.

What I wasn't ready for was for the family to invite us to stay for dinner.

You see, we had made cookies for them, and in an ideal situation, we would just swing them by their house real quick; in a much less ideal situation we would stay for an hour and I would have to rush home to see the presidential race unfold.

So much for planting a kingdom, eh?

So when they insisted we stay for dinner, dominoes pizza, my stomach sunk almost as low as it did when they busted out phase 10, the longest card game ever.

I was upset. Not understanding how long it took to arrive at a winner for the presidency, I believed I would arrive home to discover the president elect, and not get to see it bloom in front of my eyes. Now the wine I bought to casually sip in a pretentious manner while listening to statistics, would be left for a late night rendezvous to curb my frustration (Dramatic).

This is when God grabbed me. I argue a lot for building Gods Kingdom over contributing to a man-made institution, however, I was choosing the institution over Gods Kingdom in this instant. I almost missed it!

Sometimes, when you feel passionately about something, it can blind you from an opportunity to live it. Arguing the Principle of it becomes a mirage of actual action.

Lately I've argued a lot against politics, in favor of God bringing his kingdom through his church and not a broken, Godless, system. Yep, I have.

Then, when God gave me an opportunity to live this, I almost blew it for reasons I denounce.

Now don't get me wrong, I didn't ALMOST miss it, I DID miss it. You see, right around Phase 3, God whispered this hypocritical irony to me. I almost laughed. Instead, I praised God for his revelation, repented, and in an instant, he truly did change my heart. So much so, that I was very disappointed that phase 10, was modified to phase 5 because others had actual legitimate places to be.

Truly dissapointed, I didn't want to leave. I WANTED to miss the election as a sacrifice to God, to show him how much my heart had just changed.

Now, while I did spend a majority of the time in this families home in a pessimistic state, this was a victory. God softened and humbled me, and answered my prayer. This isn't a victory for me, this is a victory for God. He pierced the sinful, rebellious heart in me. He was glorified.

This family is amazing. I am so pumped to go back again. To hang out with

Grandma Jane




And Bradley

And I got to see all the election coverage I could want.

And it wasn't near as exciting as playing those last two phases.

And it turned out how I figured.

And It doesn't mean a single thing.

Gods Kingdom will come. Not through the president. Not through the voters. Not through the government.

But through me. Through you. Through Us.

It will come.


Old and hairy, but it has a point.

God Pours and pours
his dousing rain upon the
somewhat open earth.
See, I’m a drop that gets caught
in the leaves of a mighty tree;
Sent from father, kept from mother;
like an infant weened.
Suspended between my maker and my mission,
I beg for a strong wind to shake me from my hell.

But what if I then end up in the gutter,
watering dismembered vegetated limbs?
if the sun calls me back into the clouds?
Collect into a puddle?

What if I make mud?

God pours and pours and I am left undrank.

My thoughts evaporate as it thunders-

I am no drop. I am no

I am a tree, confusing myself with
what collects above my thirsty roots.