I'd Bury It, I'd Burn It

Last night, Luke, Nick and I watched the movie Millions. It was a movie about kids who find a bag full of money and follows the events that unfold afterwards.

It was very very good.

It left me thinking about when I was kid and dreaming of what I would do if I suddenly aquired a million dollars. It reminded me of all the "what if" scenarios and questions I've heard in mile life, around the topic of unexpectedly coming into a large amount of money.

Who hasn't thought about this, right?

All the things we'd buy. All the things we'd do. All the fun we'd have.

I was left reanalyzing this idea last night. And for no reason, $10 million was the number I played with.

If I currenly, all of a sudden, aquired $10 million, what would I do with it?

My first response was to think that there is no way I could feel like I would deserve that kind of money. Whether it was left on my door step, or I won the lottery, nothing I've done in life makes me think I deserve that kind of money, especially when I am beginning to see the lack in the world today.

So then, what would I do with it?

Perhaps I would give it all to the community I currently live in. But would our ministry, or any ministry, be able to be effective with $10 million in their bank account? Money is clearly not the answer to the place we're in, its actually, mainly the problem. How about any other ministry? Or split between several other ministries? My immediate gut reaction, for a reason I haven't processed yet, is "No". I do not think it would be a good thing to give the money, or split the money between any ministry or person. I think it has to do with the fact that, I would be giving the money to make things better, and if money in a situation is made to make things better, then that just rubs me the wrong way.

Ok, Well, if I don't get it and no one or nothing else gets it, then maybe I make a statement with it. Perhaps I get it all in cash, build a pyramid with it on Wall Street, douse it in gasoline, and burn it all up while videotaping it so it can become a Youtube sensation. Then after that, I write a book on why I did it, and talk about God and Greed and probably politics. But then I'm not sure what I would do with the Millions of Dollars I would make off my book.

So I concede. Maybe I'll just take it after all. Well then I started thinking about what $10 million would mean for my life. I truly think it would make life far less satisfying. While things such as supporting a family and one day starting my own business comes with a level of stress, it also comes with much excitement. I think there is much satisfaction found (And to be found) in working towards these things yourself (Not to say that you should rely on yourself instead of God in life, but I do think that a person providing for themself and God supplying ones needs can be the same thing). With more money than I need, it takes out this satisfaction and excitement from the equation of life. To use a very poor and juvenile analogy, I have played many video games where the goal is to either build up your character into a powerful one, or one where you earn money to build a bigger and better fill-in-the-blank. Both these style of games get to the point where you excel and have so much power/money that you can't even use it all. Its no fun then. The enjoyable part was building up to this point, not the point itself. I would think obtaining a lot of money would be like reaching the end of a video game.

With all that said, I don't know what I'd do. Like I said, I would feel like I don't deserve it, but I would probably find a way to convince myself that I at least deserve to pay off some student loans. And maybe a new tennis racket.

Anyone have any better ideas of what to do with $10 million?

Show me your wounds, I'm tired of mine.

I just realized the other day. I only publish about half my blog posts. Usually I spill myself out and then when I'm done, I no longer feel like posting it. Maybe one day, I'll post 80 unpublished works at once.

I now work at Latte Land in Briar Cliff Village. I love it. Since High School I've wanted to be a Barista. Now, finally, at age 25, I am living that dream. Here's to being a lifetime Barista!

Community is Great. Community is Hard. Community is Weird.

I don't know. I sometimes get really frustrated here . . . it's not the Nirvana (Don't worry, I'm still Christian) that I thought it would be. But when I think of not being here, I realize how much I absolutely love it. Barely been here a month and now I don't know how I could ever not be in community. It just makes so much sense. Who would have thought that life after college can get even BETTER.

Tonight, a fellow Christian Brother from the neighborhood named Roy ate dinner with us. Roy is 61 years old and was recently punched in the eye by a guy he beat in chess.

He beat a guy in chess and the guy punched a 61 year old man in the face.

He now has a couple dozen stitches and his eye is just now starting to open.

Roy is unbelievable. He lives in the house he grew up in, but the house, for some reason, has no windows, plumbing, or electricity. It's basically wood nailed together.

But Roy broke down in tears tonight as he told us that hes known people for 50 years in this neighborhood and they (Literally) wouldn't even give him a glass of water, let alone a meal like we were. Roy gave us so much encouragement about what we were doing in the neighborhood. He said so many things that were such a blessing:

"You can't climb a mountain that is smooth, only one that is rocky" In reference to life.

"What if football players came out and marched around the field for 2 hours saying "We are athletes, We are athletes" . . . eventually you would tell them, "WELL PROVE IT". Thats what Christians do today . . ."We are Christians, We Are Christians" and a neighborhood like this says, "Prove It" and you all are . . . you're proving you're Christians." (This was paraphrased, Sorry for all the Quotes in it. :-) ).

"My Biggest fear is that when I get in line for the judgement seat that I get behind Billy Graham, and that when Billy Graham gets before God, God tells him that he didn't do enough. I mean, its Billy Graham! I'm in big trouble if I'm next!"

"I want to make Lucifers top 10 most wanted."